A Milk Cow Fit For The Suburbs

Have you ever gotten sick and tired of buying and drinking expensive milk from strange cows? Have you ever desired your very own mini-cow to milk and raise and feed and eventually slaughter for a massive months-long beef feast? Your dreams are coming true.


The Dexter, an Irish mountain breed, is the latest in compact dairy production. It seems that many people in Europe, and a few in the U.S.A., are clamoring to buy these cows. They are “the world’s most efficient, cutest and tastiest cows," according to one of the websites that sells the breed. These mini-moo's can be milked daily, and for self-sufficient types, is a great investment.

For between £200 and £2,000, people can buy a cow that stands no taller
than a large German shepherd dog, gives 16 pints of milk a day that can be drunk
unpasteurised, keeps the grass “mown” and will be a family pet for years before
ending up in the freezer.
The Dexter, a mountain breed from Ireland, is perfect for cattle-keeping on a small scale, but other breeds are being artificially created to compete with it, including the Mini-Hereford and the Lowline Angus, which has been developed by the Australian government to stand no more than 39in high but produce 70% of the steak of a cow twice its size. - Chris Gourlay - London Times Online

Look how happy a teeny Dexter cow can make you! They are so cute! Only $450-$4300! A couple of these cows can be kept in a quite small area, making suburban homes perfect, with their half-acre lots. -FUPPETS- thinks they would be quite delicious, but wonders whether people would actually have the heart to either slice that cow's throat to drain it's blood and kill it, or slam it's head with a pneumatic piston a la "No Country For Old Men." I am sure farmers and ranchers and pragmatic people the world over would not give a fuck, but you know how pussy-soft those suburban assholes are. Either way, miniature cattle farming is where it's at these days.

The London Times Online details an effort to breed new kinds of mini-cows, I guess for the "thriving" survivalist market.