The Bleak Sports Winter is Upon -FUPPETS-

Every year, around this time, the elation of the Super Bowl gives way to the stomach-twisting realization that the greatest of all sports, American Football, has ended it's season.
( Congratulations New Orleans Saints! )

No longer will the adrenaline rush feed -FUPPETS- . Now, all that is left is the pathetic crawl towards the NBA playoffs, and the resurgence of that most pastoral and ridiculously obsolete "sport", baseball.
The only consolation to be found is in the imminent start of the 2010 Winter Olympics, which, sadly enough, are taking place in Vancouver, a city which has had multiple weeks of above freezing weather, and no snow. The Olympic officials in Vancouver are working overtime not just trucking in snow, but using helicopters to air-lift and drop tons and tons of snow. This might be the first completely "artificial" Winter Olympics on record! The mountains are nearly bare!

The world will have images of these Olympic Games with lush, green backdrops, with muddy spectators slogging through the marshy thaw to try and see their favorite events. This could easily be the most pathetic Winter Olympics yet. Maybe a gigantic volcanic eruption will warm things up even more! Or, the giant stone-man on the Vancouver Olympic Logo will come to life and terrorize the inhabitants of the Olympic Village!

That sculpture is an INUKSHUK, a traditional stone sculpture used by Canada's Inuit native peoples. The name of the one above is called Ilanaaq and local Vancouver graphic designers Elena Rivera MacGregor and Gonzalo Alatorre.

Olympic Gold For Art? Bring It On!

The modern Olympic games began in 1898. Between the years of 1912 and 1948 the Olympics not only awarded medals for athletic achievement but also gave medals for artistic achievement.
Medals were awarded in oil painting, watercolor painting, sculpture, architecture, music and literature. These events were judged and the artists received the exact same medals as the athletes.

At the 1932 L.A. Games, the arts component had 540 entries from 24
countries. No chants of "USA" accompanied the competition. Teams of judges
quietly evaluated the works, all of which had to have a sports theme.Most
were in the visual arts and were exhibited at the Los Angeles Museum of
History, Science and Art (now the Natural History Museum), where 384,000
members of the public viewed them, according to the official report on the
Games. -David Colker - LA Times

That is pretty fucking cool. The modern world seems to value specialization much more these days, and the idea of combining the arts and athletics seems anathema to most Americans. It was not so for the modern Olympic Games founder.

The arts competitions were not part of the first modern Olympics in 1896.
But the founder of the revived Games, Baron Pierre de Coubertin, had long
toyed with the idea.
Writing in a French sports magazine in 1891, he proposed an event consisting of a 14-kilometer race and written essay. Not simultaneously. That event never made it into the Games, but De Coubertin pressed on, declaring in a 1906 speech that it was time to "reunite in the bonds of legitimate wedlock a long-divorced couple -- muscle and mind."
The arts competition debuted at the 1912 Games in Stockholm where an
American, Walter Winans, won the gold for sculpture. But he didn't stop there.
Winans also took silver in the 100-meter team running single shots
competition, thus becoming the only Olympian in history to win both for
sculpture and shooting.

This is an image of Lee Blair's niece, Jeanne Chamberlain, holding the gold medal her uncle won in the 1932 Olympics for a watercolor painting.

The complete LA Times story can be read here.

It is once again time to join these two worlds. It is a great source of consternation to find that, as an artist and art lover, the art world sees sport and athletics as incongruous with artistic temperament. The sports world, on the other hand, seems to find the arts a laughable joke, completely incompatible with an athletic mind-set. The well-rounded human should have an appreciation for both these forms of human expression and human achievement. It is a difficult thing to try to change people's minds.

Olympics are Over - The British give us Massive SUCK

Another 4 years of waiting are set to begin. The Olympic Closing Ceremonies blasted the Beijing Olympics into the stratosphere. Whereas the Opening Ceremony was focused on the elements Water, Earth and Air, and the shape of a Square, the Closing Ceremony was a celebration of Fire and of the Circle. The Chinese love to have balance and harmony in all things, for it is as Confucious, Lao Tse, and many other important mystics have taught. The Chinese take the sense of balance very seriously.
It was a beautiful ceremony and finished this 29th Olympiad of the modern games off correctly. Beijing has a lot to be proud for and the Chinese government have a lot to live up to now.
Having said that, -FUPPETS- noticed something very foreboding. The next Summer Olympic Games will be held in London, England in 2012. Let's compare the two nations.
China - a 4 thousand year history of deep culture, deep innovation, love of beauty, and harmony, and the power of one of the largest new economies with the largest population of any nation on Earth standing behind it. Britain - tiny island nation, history dating back to the Roman Empire times and before that, an economy that is sputtering at best, 15-18% unemployment rate, and, to be honest, not much in the way of a national culture to showcase and share with the world.

As a part of every Closing Ceremony, the nation that is to be the next host of the games gets an 8 minute "window" in which to present a small taste of what it will bring to the table for the forthcoming games and ceremony. For example, in 2004, in Sydney Australia, the Chinese had aerialists and mysterious formations of humans and a small girl in a red dress seemingly floating above the stadium. It was beautiful and extremely enigmatic, for we were just given a tease with no context. Upon seeing the Opening Ceremony two weeks ago, it all made perfect sense. It was a beautiful mental continuity. The Chinese are good at that, very good.
So, after the grandeur of a most brilliant fireworks display, the Bird's Nest Stadium quieted for what was to be the UK's presentation. An ultra-modern looking double-decker bus entered the stadium floor, and headed towards a "bus stop" with what looked like the understudies for RENT or STOMP or some such crap (to quote the wise Homer Simpson) prancing around in goddamn pantomime. The bus parks and the dancers go about miming their bullshit like they are all climbing into the bus. It looked nice on TV, but there was no way in hell that bullshit played to the stadium. Looking at the crowd of athletes in the mid-field all one saw was the backs of a thousand heads, for they had to, HAD TO, look at the big-ass screens in order to figure out what the hell was going on. It was decidedly underwhelming.

The top of the double decker bus opened up , in a quite cool way, to reveal the skyline of London. Again, it was neat, but it felt like it was designed for the stage of 3,000 seat theatre, not a gigantic stadium seating a hundred thousand people.
Then the truly horrific British melt-down began. Out of the top of the "bus" rose some pop star, and a goddamn decrepit old white haired idiot who barely could hold up his heavy Les Paul guitar. It was sexagenarian Jimmy Page. Fucking Jimmy Page. He looked like a fucking retired golf pro. He proceeded to "play" along to a piped-in track of "Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zeppelin while the disposable pop-bitch who won some sort of TV show "sang." There are so many things wrong with this but -FUPPETS- will point out just one. The song, "Whole Lotta Love" is the ultimate COCK ROCK anthem! The entire song is about how much cock you are going to try to stuff in your woman's love-hole! It is about how fucking stretched out her pussy is going to get because you are going to bottom out hardcore because you are giving her SO MUCH COCK! Now, what in the holy fuck did the organizers of the London Games in 2012 think when they chose this particular song? Did they think no one would understand the original references and instead would assume the song to be a heavy metal ode to joy and a paean to the love and Olympic Spirit that the Olympics are designed to foster in the youth of the world? FUCK. It was terrible. Even the UK reporters are aghast at how fucking awful it was.

In my time I've witnessed countless Royal Variety Performances and the opening
ceremony of the Dome. This British fiasco was worse than any of them, and even
at only eight minutes seemed interminable. No wonder London mayor Boris Johnson looked so uncomfortable beforehand. He must have known what was coming.
I have two tips for you, Boris. Keep your hands out of your pockets when attending high-profile events like this, and secondly fire whoever responsible for this
fiasco and hire proper showbiz professionals – from Las Vegas if necessary – to
handle the opening and closing ceremonies in 2012. Another toe-curling
embarrassment like this would be unendurable. - Charles Spencer - Telegraph UK

It truly was like being kicked out of a brand new 4-star hotel in the heart of
NYC, and sent to a 30 year old Ramada Inn somewhere in Trenton, New Jersey. I can
just imagine the despair in the Brit's hearts when they saw such a fucking
catastrophe. Even the staging was rote and bullshit. The Chinese used their
high-wire expertise, bringing in talent from the Hong Kong film industry to create majestic performance ART. The British contingent used a fucking parade float with
generic platforms and railings. It sincerely looked like a high school theatre
production. It was so SUCK.

-FUPPETS- leaves you with this pathetic image.
It looks like goddamn Micky Dolenz from the
fucking Monkees.

China Hates Old People

Some more jack-assery by our newest "friendly economic partner," China.
When the Olympic Games were set to begin, the Chinese totalitarian government decided to create specific "Protest Zones" which would be the only places where protest would be allowed to occur, by the whim of those fascist assholes. Not only were they setting up specific, heavily fortified protest zones, anyone wishing to protest would have to actually file an official request with a specific Chinese government agency, the Beijing Municipal Public Security Bureau. If this Bureau saw fit to honor your request you would be assigned a date and time to go protest. what a load of SHIT! As if they would not turn down every single protest coming and possibly arrest those seeking to protest for "re-education," which the Chinese do regularly, fucking goddamn assholes.

So, the worst fears have been realized. From the Houston Chronicle,

Two elderly women were sentenced to a year of "re-education through labor"
after they applied for permits to demonstrate during the Olympics, according to
the son of one of the would-be protesters.
Wu Dianyuan, 79, and Wang
Xiuying, 77, went to police five times between Aug. 5 and Aug. 18 to seek
approval to protest against officials who evicted them from their homes in 2001.
The Beijing Municipal Public Security Bureau did not approve or deny their
applications during the first three visits. On the fourth visit, the women were
told that they would receive a year's punishment, until July 29, 2009, for
"disturbing the public order."
According to a written order they received, they would not have to immediately go to a re-education labor camp, but their movements would be restricted. If they violated various provisions or regulations, however, they could be sent to a labor camp. Wu and Wang tried to return a fifth time to inquire about their protest application but they were told that their right to apply had been stripped.
"When I first heard about the possibility of being allowed to protest, I was very happy. My issue could be resolved. But it turned out all to be cheating ... I feel stuck in my heart," Wu said by telephone. Li Xuehui said his mother, Wu, and her friend are outraged.
Usually labor re-education is reserved for "prostitutes and thieves," Li
said. "What the two old ladies did is nowhere near that." He pointed out that
Wang is nearly blind.

The full article, written by Ariana Eunjung Cha for the Washington Post, can be read here. It is fucking pathetically stupid.

Here is the "seditious" old lady the Chinese fascist fuckfaces are so scared of that they are willing to make an example of her and sentence her to a forced-labor camp for a year.

Here is their fucking bullshit propaganda spin on this whole issue.

Earlier this week, the official New China News Service
reported that police had received 77 applications but none has been
approved.
Wang Wei, executive vice president of the Beijing Olympic organizing committee, cast the empty protest zones in a positive light, telling reporters Wednesday that the disputes brought by would-be protesters had been resolved.

CHINA BLOCKS iTUNES (Everyone Wants to Kiss China's Ass)

The totalitarian assholes in the Chinese government are at it again. They seek to exert total control over their own population, and do so masterfully, nearly Nazi Germany-like.
This control extends quite rigorously to the Internet, which China filters and censors using what become know as "The Great Firewall of China." The Chinese call it The Golden Shield Project. Does that not sound wholesome and safe? Kind of like when the US Government called the Iraq invasion "Operation Eduring Freedom?"
The Apple website iTunes, is now blocked from access by anyone in China, due to several of the Olympic athletes downloading "protest" music. Here is an article from the Guardian UK describing this bullshit.

It started with Songs for Tibet, a compilation produced by the Art of Peace Foundation, a US-based Tibetan activist group. The Foundation invited Olympic athletes to download the album free of charge. By listening in Beijing, the
activist group said, athletes would communicate that "compassion and
non-violence can overcome intolerance and oppression - beautiful ideals to be
associated with the Olympic spirit".
More than 40 athletes downloaded the album, according to a press release, which includes songs by Sting, Rush, Damien Rice, Underworld and Alanis Morissette.
And then China turned off the iTunes music store.

What the FUCK? -FUPPETS- hates the way the world has kissed China's backwards ass. What a fucking load of shit. Now the athletes will have to just download these songs illegally! Yay! Apple cannot be seen as laughing in the face of the Chinese, since they are actively seeking to sell them a billion iPhones, and they have just opened up their first Apple Store over there. Fuck the Chinese government.

Olympic Medals

-Fuppets- has noticed the beautiful medals that are awarded at the Beijing Olympic Games. Each medal is inscribed on the front with the standard I.O.C. approved image, a drawing that represents the winged goddess of victory Nike and Panathinaikos Arena. On the reverse side is a ring of Jade and the Beijing Games emblem. The Gold Medal has the purest white Jade. It is very beautiful, almost like a ring of milk.

Beijing Olympics SMOG UPDATE

The past few days at the Olympic Village in Beijing have had decent weather lately. The other day actual blue skies were evident above the Bird's Nest Stadium. The Chinese News agencies and China Daily have posted an article detailing the "best air quality in a decade."
What they mean by that is that they have had two days this August where the air quality has ranked Grade I (excellent). August 16th was one such day.

This all sounds well and good right? China is making good on it's promise to clean up their air pollution, right? WRONG. China and it's fucked up government are, as usual, faking their way through everything. This article from the Kansas City Star details much of their fakery.

"That's not smog hovering over Beijing, swallowing entire office buildings
like a mighty python. It's just "a funny mist," says the city's environmental
chief, who insists that the Chinese government has eliminated air pollution in
the capital. And he's right: By moving its monitoring stations as far as 40
miles from the city center, Beijing's air-quality reports read like Irving
Berlin lyrics: Blue skies, smilin' at me. Nothin' but blue skies do I see..." -Glenn Garvin, Kansas City Star

The Chinese totalitarian government has seen these Olympics as the perfect platform for their image-creation plans. They wish to portray their dictatorship in the best light possible and they are stopping at nothing to do so. Stephen Spielberg was originally hired to oversee the entire production. He backed out, and good for him, because the Chinese government is a fucking bastard crew.

"The BBC has been doing independent monitoring of air quality, and on the day of
opening ceremonies, when the Beijing EPB reported a particulate pollution API
just under 100, the BBC recorded levels nearly three times that high. " - David Epstein, Sports Illustrated

I am sick to death of the corporate shills in USA Network television getting their news feeds from China itself. Those fuckers at NBC need to do some investigative reporting and stop feeding us that fucking bullshit Chinese propaganda.

US Olympians Do Not Want To Squat

In China, the main toilet used by everyone is a squatting toilet.

To use these toilets you must place your feet on the ridges alongside the toilet, and squat down to the ground, thereby releasing your shit-stream efficiently into the waiting hole. In America, these type of toilets are not far removed from the "hole" used in some prison's solitary confinement cells!

Squatting to shit is much better for the body and the colon than the sitting position favored by westerners. More shit comes out and the colon is straightened to allow for easy passage. Sitting on the toilet crimps the colon, and is widely seen as one of the main causes of the high prostate and colon cancer rate in the west.

It seems that not every toilet available in the Beijing Olympic facilities is a sit-down toilet, and many athletes are complaining.

Chinese Olympic authorities are scrambling to refit toilets after complaints
that some Olympic venues had squat toilets instead of the sit down model
favored by Westerners. Athletes, miffed at the prospect of having to squat to do their stuff, reportedly complained and refitting work is currently underway at some otherwise high-tech venues, like the Water Cube aquatics center. Most Chinese still use the traditional squat toilets, while most parts of the developed world prefer the sit down model. By the time the Games begin, authorities aim to refit toilets in many of the estimated 31 venues in Beijing alone. According
to authorities, the Olympics could be an opportunity to speed the transition
from the squat models to the sit down toilet for millions of Chinese.

This is too much fun. Now we are going to give hundreds of millions of
Chinese crooked colons!
At least they spent much money teaching their host girls and presenters how to smile Western Style.

-FUPPETS- Bigfoot Press Conference Inconclusive (as these fucking things always are)

The Bigfoot press conference was elusive as the goddamn Sasquatch itself. It appears that the websites were down just before the press conference so reporters couldn't access information. The website is currently down as well. Either the bastards are feeling the heat of their hoax, or they are scared of what will happen to them and to the carcass if it is actually confirmed. FUCK! That that bastard out and drag his hairy ape ass to the nearest goddamn TV studio man!!!!!!!!! You know how easy it is to find a scientist to verify shit like this? We are overflowing with biologists! They breed like Brays Bayou mosquitos in August!

All we get are two new vague pictures and more promises.

Sounds like a bad date. So these guys were out in the woods, found this red-head Bigfoot dead by a river, with other Bigfeet standing behind trees and shit. They claim they have video. Where is it FUUUUUCCKKKK??????? They then stuff the dead motherfucker into a freezer a MONTH AGO. If Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie can get 8 figures for pics of their ridiculously ordinary newborns then these guys should be asking for mad cash!!!!!!!!!!

-FUPPETS- has discovered the true nature of the primate in the freezer.

Michael Phelp's omniprescence continues.

Sucking In The Filthy Beijing Air

The pollution levels in Beijing are astronomical. Even from outer space it appears that hundreds of square miles of China are covered in the thickest, grayest smog ever seen outside of Mexico City.

The spin doctors in China have asked all the media to avoid mention of this as much as possible. Not only that, they have also asked for it to be referred to as "Haze", not "Smog." They both mean the same thing really. "Smog" is just a more negative word. Beijing is one of the most humid cities on Earth, and when that humidity combines with massive amounts of pollutants, it creates what are essentially very heavy, very filthy clouds.

All clouds are composed to water droplets of various sizes. These water droplets develop usually around a "seed' of some kind, oftentimes a grain of pollen or some bit of dust. The large amounts of airborne particles in Beijing's air creates a perfect "surface" for the proliferation of very filthy smog.

Television, with it's sole focus being on beautiful presentation, has avoided showing the skies over Beijing as much as possible, because it truly is depressing to look at! They built a studio for Bob Costas and his crew overlooking the Olympic Village, with massive windows affording a gorgeous view. Due to the filth in the air they have had to place a gigantic flat screen monitor behind Bob Costas, between him and the large windows.

Notice the heavy red curtains behind Bob Costas' left shoulder. Early on in the broadcasts there was no curtain, so in that small rectangle of space behind him and the large TV screen you could see a bright grey. It looked like smoke soup.

The cut-away shots of the "Bird's Nest" Stadium they have been showing every time they cut to commercial have crystal clear skies and empty streets, obviously filmed weeks or maybe months before the Olympics. China and their ruling party are obsessive to the point of being anal-retentive when it comes to how their city, country, and Olympic effort are portrayed by the world's media. That is understandable, but to have them be able to essentially gag the US media from discussing the filthy filthy air pollution conditions in Beijing scares me a bit.

The Chinese own around 25% of the United States. That includes real estate, corporations, buildings, etc. If they were to get mad at us and pull away the money they shove into our economy, the money keeping the USA from going into a fully catastrophic depression, it would be an ugly situation.

Kind of makes you wonder who is "top dog" in the world, huh?

What Will Bela Say?

As has been previously reported by -FUPPETS-, there is a brewing controversy at the Olympic Games in Beijing regarding the ages of some of the Chinese female gymnasts. Bela Karolyi has been one of the loudest voices raising concern about this, and admirably so, since the International Olympic Committee (The I.O.C.) seems to have swept this under the rug.

Now it seems that the Chinese news agencies themselves are contradicting the official party line.
Most all media in China are controlled by the government. The official Chinese government news agency, Xinhua, reported that gymnast He Kexin was 13, which would have made her ineligible to be on the team that won a gold medal this week.

The Associated Press found the Xinhua report on the site Thursday morning
and saved a copy of the page. Later that afternoon, the Web site was still
working but the page was no longer accessible. Sports editors at the state-run
news agency would not comment for publication.

Crazy shit, huh? The original report was from November 3rd of last year and listed He Kexin at 13 years of age, competing in the Chinese Cities Games. Her passport, which is the sole document provided by the Chinese government and approved by the I.O.C., who does not want to upset the powerful host nation, lists her birthday as January 1, 1992.
He Kexin will be competing for individual gold in the Uneven bars this week.

THE THRILL OF VICTORY, THE AGONY OF DEFEAT

Sometimes in sporting events the crowd is treated to magnificent displays of athletic prowess and delicate agility. Sometimes the audience is forced to endure the worst of agonies. This is one of those times. If you are a squeamish person, you may not want to gaze upon this video.

(*thanks to DListed for the video link)


That is Hungarian weightlifter Janos Baranyai, doing the squirm/flop of PAIN. Take note of the efficiently Chinese way the event organizers set up a small screen to shield the audience from the ghastly trauma, un-bearable grimaces, and full-body spasms. The scary part is that, weightlifting being such a dangerous sport, the Olympic organizers knew enough to plan ahead of time, and have a crew of volunteers on hand for just such a situation.
Dislocations, breaks, torn cartilage, torn muscles, and yes, even bowel distention are part and parcel of the weightlifting game. Humans were not meant to lift that much weight, but we CAN, and we DO, and these athletes all know intimately the risk inherent in their sport.

Bela Karolyi Tells It Like It Is

Last night's Olympic broadcast feaured the Women's Group competition in Gymnastics.

(Let's not go into the massive CHOKE by the oldest USA team member, the one that the networks and the hype machine have been building up as the "face" of USA Gymnastics, the better to use her for commercials and such bullshit. Too bad for Wall Street! Alicia Suckymone fucking choked! Oh well, it happens to the best of us. Here is footage of a fucking IDIOT asking Alicia Pepperoni, an expertly trained and fit and powerful athlete, to punch him as hard as she can on the jaw. Motherfucker gets dropped.)

Since the games are being held in China, and since everyone is scared shit-less by the 1.6 BILLION Chinese citizens and their totalitarian regime, it seems that no one wants to step up and tell shit like it is. The Chinese women's Gymnastic's team has at least 2 "women" that are obviously under-age. The Olympics sets a limit of 16 years of age. An athlete must turn 16 in the year the Olympics are being held to qualify. While many people have voiced concern, it seems that the International Olympic Committee has shielded their eyes from this and allowed CHEATERS to take the Gold Medal.
Who is there to scream and yell and throw this shit in the face of the Chinese? Who not only has the balls to do so, but the clout and respect and KNOWLEDGE necesary to really make it stick?

BELA KAROLYI does, that's who. This man, a self-admitted hard-ass, could give a flying fuck about political correctness and appeasement, and is voicing his displeasure about this every chance he gets. The man is riotously pissed about this and he has every right to be. The Chinese evidence for their athletes ages is nothing more than a government issued passport. Fuck that shit. I do not trust the Chinese government to wipe their ass properly, much less to not lie or falsify government documents if it is to their advantage to do so. They killed their own people for asking for self-governance in Tien-Amen Square. -FUPPETS- has not forgotten that shit.

International Gymnastics Federation (FIG) officials have accepted the passports of the Chinese women, which indicate all are old enough to compete. Karolyi is originally from Romania, and he says falsifying documents is a common practice in totalitarian regimes such as Romania, Russia and other former Soviet bloc nations.

“They are using half-people,” Karolyi said. “One of the biggest frustrations is, what arrogance. These people think we are stupid."
“We are in the business of gymnastics and we know what a kid of 14 or 15 or 16 looks like. You don’t have to be a gymnastics coach to know what they look like at 16.”

The Olympics

I am so fucking glad that the Olympics are finally here. I wait for them every four years like an 11 year old trying for his first orgasm. It has been too long, like the bullshit Wolf Brand Chili slogan says.
I am a complete sucker for any multinational sporting competition, and there is nothing bigger than the Olympics.
The beach volleyball players are happy too!



Yay!!!

And then there is the ugly side of The Olympics.