Feb 16, 2009

President's Day, -FUPPETS- Style

The United States Government loves to cheat it's citizenry out of holidays. Big Business lobbies for the erasure of as many holidays as possible, thereby allowing them to rarely have to pay people for not working. This is the story of President's Day, one of the most bullshit holidays ever concocted by the idiots in Washington.
There was once two holidays, very close together. On February the 12th, President Abraham Lincoln's birthday was celebrated . On the 22nd of February, the birthday of our first President and the father of our Republic, George Washington, was celebrated throughout the land with a mandatory day off for all workers in the USA. This was only fitting, as the two greatest leaders of our nation deserved a day of remembrance for all that they did to create, maintain, and support our country's very existence.
George Washington was the General for the rebel army that defeated the British and helped create a new nation. He was unanimously chosen to serve as our first President, and re-elected, after which he decided not to seek office again, for fear of tyranny, and stepped down, setting a precedent which was written into law decades later. Abraham Lincoln was the President at a time when our young nation was being torn asunder and through his genius and diplomacy, led the fight to keep our nation whole and not allow the disintegration of it's constituent states. His Emancipation Proclamation was a truly worldwide phenomenon, and was read and praised in many far away countries, for it spoke of the true equality of man, of the true horror and denigration that exists when one man is allowed to outright own another, and it shook the very foundation of our country. His assassination stands as one of the most heart-rending events in the history of the U.S.A.
If any two leaders deserve to be honored, and to have their very existence praised and remembered, it is these two gentlemen. Washington's birthday was originally designated a federal holiday in 1880. It was the very first holiday to honor an American citizen. Because of big business, in the late 60's/early 70's an Act was passed called the Uniform Monday Holiday Act. These assholes had figured out that Monday's are the slowest business day, and that it would behoove the big business fucks to bribe the government into declaring a law that mandated all federal holidays be moved the the Monday closest to the original holiday date, thereby removing pretty much every bit of historical significance and tradition built up until that moment. FUCKING ASSHOLES. That is why days like Columbus day and President's Day and Labor day all fall on Monday's. They could not do jack shit about Thanksgiving however. It probably pissed them off no end, until they realized they could market the Friday after Thanksgiving as THE BIGGEST SHOPPING DAY OF THE YEAR (trademarked by some fucking rich fuck asshole). Ha Ha. For real though. Lincoln's birthday was never a federal holiday, but many states observed a holiday on that day. In the early 80's advertisers made a push to get Washington's Birthday renamed as President's Day, and a dozen state governments have caved and renamed this holiday as President's Day.
While it is worthwhile to honor our past presidents, many of them sucked major ass and deserve little if no praise at all. Most kids learn about President's Day but it means nothing for it is vague and smells like the self-congratulations of old rich farts.
-FUPPETS-, on this "president's day", would like to remember and honor our two greatest Presidents, two men who by their words and deeds helped create and shape the nation we live in today, for it seems that our Nation has slipped away from the values it once stood for, government for the people and by the people, and is now a full on host to the parasite of big corporate business, whose only concern is the bottom line, the almighty money. Those fuckers will spend a good amount of money to advertise how much they care about their customers and their people and the human beings in the world but do not believe any of it. It is a fucking smokescreen and it works. The government does not exist to make our economy better, or to support our big business interests, although that has been the focus ever since Reagan got into office, with the Democratic President's right in step with that bullshit. President's Washington and Lincoln would have ripped these bastards a new one.


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